First Things First: What To Do When You Get Engaged
What an absolutely magical time in your life! Your best friend and life partner asked you to be with them from now until forever, and you said YES–CONGRATULATIONS! When you first get engaged, it’s such a blissful time. You can’t stop looking at the pretty new shiny object on your left hand, and you start daydreaming about what your wedding day will look like. It’s very easy to get caught up in all the planning right away, but I’m here to invite you to pause and reflect on what is really most important. They might be a bit alternative, but these are the first things I believe you should do when you get engaged.
First and foremost, I truly believe that when you’re planning your wedding day, you should think about experience you want to have on your wedding day. Do you want to be really relaxed, surrounded by only your closest family and friends? Or do you want to be dizzy with excitement, with tons of people celebrating the two of you and partying well into the night? Are you looking forward to planning out your wedding day timeline, or do you want someone else to take care of that for you? Focusing on how you want to feel and the experience you want to have on your wedding day can drastically affect the day that you create. At the same time, be thinking of the things you DON’T want to feel (i.e. stressed, hungry, rushed) or don’t want to have at your wedding (i.e. lots of people or very few people, wedding cake vs other desserts, etc). This will help narrow your search field when choosing vendors.
Second, when you’re thinking about the experience you want to have, start focusing on the things you really love and you know are a must-have on your wedding day. Is there a season you and your fiance both want to get married in? Is there a location that would mean a lot to the two of you (i.e. your favorite national park, or the church your parents got married in)? Who are the must-invite people on your guest list? Spending time thinking about location and time of year will help you narrow down the venues you look at, and bring you closer to choosing a wedding date. I recommend going into your planning with 1-2 potential dates in mind so when you start meeting with your must-have vendors, you can have some flexibility if they’re already booked.
Third, think about the vendors/areas of your wedding that are most important to you. Choosing vendors you trust and love will make your wedding day so much more meaningful and stress-free. When you have a relationship with your vendors, you can count on the fact that you’ve got a friend in your corner, and they’re going to do everything they can to make sure you’re happy and loved all along your wedding journey. If you’re in sync with your vendors, they are going to be able to bring your wedding day vision come to life. Imagine if you chose, say, a cake baker, and you booked them because your cousin’s best friend worked with them and loved them. But then you meet with the baker, and you don’t feel like they understand your vibe, and you start doubting if you chose the right baker. Then when your wedding day rolls around, and the cake is delivered, and it’s pretty but not quite what you had in mind...you’re left feeling unsatisfied and like your money wasn’t well spent. You should never have to feel like that with any part of your wedding day! Create a “love list” of vendors you’d love to work with, and send them an inquiry. Share a little bit about your story and why you would love to work with them. You deserve to work with people who will make you feel amazing every step of the way.
With that said, set an overall budget with some flexibility. A budget will help keep you in line with the amount you feel comfortable spending, but allow yourself some wiggle room with that number. No one should feel the need to sacrifice an amazing experience because of money. If there’s a vendor you’d love to work with, but you’re not sure how to make the money work, ask them if they have a payment plan or what your options are. Or, get creative with your pre-wedding finances and consider these additional ways to earn money for your wedding.
Fourth, get your ring insured! That beautiful piece of jewelry is so sentimental and special, and your significant other invested in it just for you. Heaven forbid something should happen, having your ring insured can be a saving grace if you lose a stone or lose the ring completely. I recommend Jewelers Mutual–it’s super easy to get a quote, and they’re great to work with.
Fifth, tune out the opinions that truly don’t matter to you. Everyone will have an opinion. Your wedding day is one opportunity for you to really focus on what’s right for you and your fiance. Your wedding day is a reflection of the relationship that you two have built, and it’s unlike anyone else’s story. Your big day deserves to be celebrated in a way that resonates with the two of you and the way that makes you happiest. If you’re going to invest money in one of the biggest events of your life, I know that you want to feel overjoyed with that investment. It can be hard to share what truly matters to you when Aunt Ruth is very vocal about how she thinks you should plan your wedding, but she’s coming from a place of love and from what she’s familiar with. If you stay true to yourselves, your wedding day will be a beautiful stepping stone into an even more beautiful marriage and life journey.
Finally, celebrate hard and often. Flash that ring, drink all the champagne, enjoy all the well wishes you’ll receive! You’re celebrating the once-in-a-lifetime phenomenon of finding the person you’re meant to be with, and that is worthy of all the bubbly and toasts in the world. You deserve every ounce of happiness, so soak it up.
There’s a lot to consider when you first get engaged, and it can totally seem overwhelming. If there’s anything you need support with, please feel free to reach out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org I’d love to celebrate your engagement with you!
All the best,
P.S. If you’re looking for more wedding tips and relationship growth opportunities, join my online community: Love Always, Kate | Celebrate + Cultivate Your Relationship